Go DJ!! Yeah that's my DJ!!!

So it's pretty much a universal truth that I LOVE MUSIC!!! I love everything that there is to love about music!! So it only makes sense that I would have friends who enjoy music as well (if they didn't then I don't know what else we could talk about... because I definitely can count all of the episodes of Martin I have seen on one hand)

So before you go revoking my black cards... I would like to dedicate this post to "My DJ"

So honestly we met a few months ago at this Parking Spot in DC called Rendevous Lounge in Adams Morgan!! My friend said "this is Shaderi" and his response was "Hopson right... blah blah blah blame twitter" How funny is that? Umm but he was the best DJ in the entire parking spot (please note rendevous is not actually a parking spot but I feel like my living room is bigger than that place)
yeah that's half of the space right there!!!

Anyway so because I like to think of twitter as a catalyst that speeds up the rate at which friendships form, I found out that this DJ is also a cool human being! We go to the same church and everythiing. So anyway how is he now MY DJ?!?

He made the wise mistake of sending me an awesome mixtape of feel good music!!! I honestly love EVERY SONG on here!! It's my definition of shut up and drive music... except at the moment I have nowhere to go!

So yeah MJ DJ now has the task to guess my mood and make a mixtape based on whatever mood that I'm in (not really but wouldn't that be great if someone could do that!!!)

That's my DJ!!

check him out

Cheerleader Smile

Cheerleader Smile

This smile is so fake
only cuz I know its the 4th quarter of this game
and just that I'm in a position of no control
Expected to always be optimistic so I cheer and scream and shout

So I paint on this smile
its so fake
I don't care who wins
I want to get in the game

Action Action Victory
You all join in and cheer with me
but i'm only smiling so
I don't get lipstick on my teeth.

Because
This
Smile
Is
So
Fake

Ms. Solo Dolo pt 2.5

So I mentioned this song in the last post and then remembered that I have an affinity for music that people don't know or don't remember so here is Ms. Solo Dolo's Theme song!!!!

p.s. I definitely sang this song in chorus in like 4th or 5th grade!!!! funtimes.

Ms. Solo Dolo pt 2

So I have been out living the life of a single lady (insert beyonce left hand wave) and I would love to tell you that I have been having nothing but fun... except its only half true!!

Part 2 of the sermon series Solo at my church urged me to read Hebrews 13:5 whenever I felt lonely.
Hebrews 13:5:
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”

Duh!!! I can quote that in my sleep but I never thought that I would need a reminder in my life. Especially since I am always out spending time with people. I spent a week in MD and in 3 days I went to 7social gatherings! yes 7 and that doesn't count the pit stops I made for some wonderful red velvet brownies!!! And I have never felt so lonely in my life that weekend.

Let's address why I go out so often... God never said I was gonna marry the mailmen and even if He did I would have to at least go downstairs to meet him! That and I truly enjoy the company of other people. But how can I be surrounded by people and feel lonely? This is a new phenomena to me because I am so used to being the life of the party. I just felt as though nobody desired to be around me. Nobody desired to be with me. Nobody desires Deri (I feel like some Inception level stuff was happening in my brain!!)

My best guy friend said "Desire is not always overt" those words alone have helped me to combat the Inception level untruths that were trying to take root in my brain.

The truth is I know that God is there and I know that He never leaves me, He never fails me, and He will never forsake me. I know that people desire to be around me. And I know that somebody desires me (somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight...) (If you did not instantly start singing the rest of that song from An American Tale then you are a crazy person)

I know all of that to be true but I need to do a better job of believing it...

Solo

The Situation Room

Or my living room as some might actually call it!!!

The situation going on is so deep that I'm not even invited! Here I am thinking I'm grown because I pay bills, I have my own place, I drive my own car (that my dad purchased minor detail I promise) and still I was given the nice look of "child if you don't get out of this room at this very moment then someone will remove you.

So I left which is definitely for the better. Never have I been so stressed and distraught about a situation that directly involved me before.

There really isnt much that i can say. Just know its going down. Basement!

Ms. Solo Dolo pt 1

So my church started a series for single people called "Solo" I was even featured in the video!!

what's funny is that last year a few of my friends decided that my church should do like "single woman of the month" kinda like what Essence Magazine does but like at church!! I mean who doesn't go to church looking for their boo??? Personally whenever a really cute dude walks by I mentally start singing "there goes my baby" (ok I don't sing, nor do I really care but I find myself doing the occasional left-hand check, and for some reason I cant help that)

I digress...

So "Solo" The message was great and the takeaway simply changed my life:

Do what you can to show God how much you appreciate being in the state that you are in.

Clearly I am single and at 21 it was totally easy to appreciate that. At 23 it was getting hard and I started to doubt God (as if He ever really gave me a reason to do so) At the age that I am now I can say that I was getting down-right annoyed. It got so bad I believe I told someone "if God knows that me being single is causing me to doubt Him then why won't he just change that situation?" What kind of spiritual milk was I sippin on?!? I mean it was getting awful.

The takeaway from the message though helped me put a lot of things in perspective. I see now that my way of thinking was completely ummm silly! And God doesn't love me any less for being that silly for that long!

So this week I stayed away from "bait" or attractive men. It was challenging but I learned a lot about myself. It also helped me see who and what I appreciate and why! The trick was showing God the same type of appreciation that I show others (who didn't die on the cross for my sins Romans 5:8 style) If it seemed like I wasn't speaking to you its not because I didn't love you but because I value my relationship with God a whole lot more!!!


~Ms. Solo Dolo~

I got a feeling

I generally don't discuss my feelings with anybody! I work in observable facts. I guess thats the scientist in me always coming to the light. So I'm working on feeling more... expect a poem about that tomorrow