I dont like this

So my sister is in the hospital and I honestly do NOT like this. There are a lot of emotions that I am trying to deal with that I dont even know how to name them. And its really hard to practice faith in these situations.

Rejoice in the Lord- WHY? I have questions a lot of them like WHY?

Be anxious for NOTHING - but these machines keep beeping and she can't see out of her right side of either eyes. Her memory is failing and I'm watching that... anxious slightly

It's hard to Praise in Advance when you are looking at the current situation.

I don't like this!

Please pray for me and my family its tough and honestly I don't like this.

Intro-spection

So on the eve of my quarter century mark I figure it would be a great idea to take a look at my life and really reflect about the choices that I have made...

This time last year I was entering my 3rd week of teaching altogether as a new career I was excited and frightened all at the same time. This year the excitement has worn off and I focus more on just tryna make it through the day rather than how can I make a difference! That is not exactly the mindset an effective teacher should have however americas youth makes it hard to like them. Ugh!

This time last year I was single and healing from some emotional scars. Some things happened and I needed to work through them. So this time last year God allowed me to open up to some awesome women! Realize that I am a jewel in His crown and move forward. This year... I am still single but no doubt healed from the past hurts that I have been through. I have taken on this new shyness trait only around guys though I mean cuz if you have EVER spoken to me I would say I am the exact opposite of the word shy! I can't put my finger on it but this year I just keep my feelings to myself... One patch of beauty rising out of the ashes of my past relationships.

This time last year I was surrounded by great friends and family and thankful for all of the people I have in my life... This year I am surrounded by great friends and family and thankful for all of the people that I have in my life especially the new additions that I managed to make room for.

So I guess I have grown since last year and I have more growing to do but I am happy where I am...

My beauty is still being made perfect

Maybe I intimidate you...

Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is...

I don't have it all together! I know that I appear to with my car and my job, degree, my own place, my cooking skills, sense of humor, Love for Christ, head on my shoulders, etc, etc, etc.

Maybe you didn't know that I struggle being comfortable with myself most days! That I get homesick often. I hate stress and ironing (well maybe you knew about the ironing part!)

Well God said "I will bestow upon you a crown of beauty instead of ashes..."(Isaiah 61:3) So join me as I empty out my ashtray and receive my crown of beauty