Inspiration

I know that I have been gone for a while and I am completely ok with that! I've been out living life and only tweeting about some things (which is life!)

But a few weeks ago I was inspired by this guy that I was working with (that I totally had a crush on) to get in shape. His exact words were "I mean think about it, you are getting old and you need to be in good shape" After I cleaned all of the salt out of the wound he created by reminding me that I was indeed aging -a fact I rarely point out to strangers- I realize that there was a lot of truth in his statement. So of course I couldn't just jump right into getting in shape because a cute guy told me to do so. It wasn't until I saw Raven Symone and how much weight she lost that I decided that I should DEFINITELY get in shape!

I started training for a 5k! Then I was talking to my friend and she told me to add strength training to my workouts on my off days. So I started that as well. (I FEEL LIKE DEATH! But I shall continue)

So Raven Symone was my inspiration (and the cutie I worked with)

Then I went to a friend's house and I told her of my running efforts and she said "you know what? You just inspired me to start running again" She left her house and went to the gym. I was there with the kids (Don't ever ask me to babysit! We were dropping water balloons from the 2nd floor into a measuring cup!!! But I did cook dinner)

But that wasn't it! We of course started talking about dating and marriage and stuff. And she said that I inspire her to continue waiting on God. WHAT THE CRAP!!!

I've been studying 2Corinthians1:3-5

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.

I'm just glad that I was able to help someone else in their hard time, while in the midst of my own.

Blast from the Past

So I wrote this in 2007 and it still holds true today.

"Testimony: Volume 1, Life and Relationships"

Yes I understand that this is the title of India Arie's 3rd album but I believe that it fits oh so well. And just as the CD has lyrics like "these eyes never saw you leavin... we were the greatest story never told" and "I prayed for God's will to be done and the very next day you were gone", so does the story of my life.

I have been in that place where I felt like this was the best thing that God has done in my life. And I felt like this relationship/friendship had to go on forever because I have never been so happy before. I never took into consideration that God was trying to teach me a lesson about myself through the relationship. Like I dont know how many times I told God that "I am ready for love" and i think He finally wanted to test out my theory and let me see if I was actually ready... Turns out I wasnt!! But I learned a lot about myself during that time BUT ultimately I learned that no matter how bomb i think a person is, God defined love much differently than I did at that moment. I think we all need a little test to see exactly where we stand when it comes to 1 Corinthians 13 love. And at that moment I couldnt get past verse 3 (and thats not even an ANQ joke!)
Real quick when you read 1 Co 13 how do you read verses 4-8?? Is it just like "Thank you Lord for acting like this towards me" or do you actually want to act like that towards others???

Now this lesson that I learned unfortunately did not come overnight but OH how I wish it had!!! I mean I had to go through a whole lot more before this lesson was over. I went through the Wile E. Coyote stage i.e, chasing after something that does not belong to me. But while I am there let me talk about something real quick. Have you ever felt as if you were the road runner?? Teasing someone, letting them think that you were gonna slow down just a little so that they can have you, just so that they could chase you?? Think about it. I feel that we all want to know that somebody wants us and we will do whatever we can to make that person keep wanting because it makes us feel better and raises our self esteem just a li

ttle even though we know that they will never ever catch us!!!

But back to when you feel like the coyote. When you are chasing after something that does not belong to you. And you spend all of your money and time trying to set up the perfect opportunity to catch it. And you never give up no matter how many times your plan does not work. And sooner or later you realize that you chased something straight off the edge of a cliff and there is nothing supporting you AT ALL and you are about to fall face first back to reality. The question is what do you do after that fall??? Do you then realize that you need to rely on God at all times or do you just get up and start with another plan to catch the road runner??

Well it took me some time but I decided that I want to be supported by God no matter what the cost, no matter how nice the person was, no matter how happy I was, and most importantly no matter how much i wanted that person to be my husband. No matter how much we want to hold on to something from the past. We need to realize that if God took it away that means that He has something greater in store for us. Wintana just told me that "in life you can only upgrade with God" And that joint is soo

true!!! I mean as sad as I am to see some people move move move right out of my life (dreamgirls style) Like I truly thank you for the lesson and "I want you to know that I'm better because you taught me how to give"

But this time I'm trusting God fully because I have come to know, understand, and re

ly on the fact that He said "I know the plans that I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Speak up!!! I can't hear you!

So last night I participated in a step competition. The team worked really hard. Our steps were really intricate. We were beyond precise. The show had a theme, we were ready for war...

The problem was that we had never stepped at such a huge scale event before and so we treated it like we would treat a normal step show. Nobody heard anything that we had to say. We were told that we looked amazing and that everyone liked our steps but they just wished that they could have heard what we had to say.

At the show essentially were just going through the motions. We did our best to make sure that we ministered but that is not how it came off to the campus. Of course when thinking about this I can't help but think about how I live my life as a Christian.

I do my best to live a life that lets other know that I am a Christian. But sometimes I wonder if people who see what I am doing know that it is because I am a Christian. You know some people may see everything that I do as just being a good person. It would suck if nobody knows that I am a Christian after all of this.

My life in 88 keys

So maybe you didn't know this about me but I have been playing the piano for 24 years. Yes 24 years.

(I wish I could play by ear but I am not cool enough for that but I can read music so that makes me slightly amazing right?!?)

Anyway a few weeks ago, when I realized that my life is crazy, I began thinking about how much God sustains me. Then I started thinking about what it means to be sustained. I admit that I didn't look in the dictionary or anything but I did look at a piano.

I can admit that I rarely used the pedal in the middle. It makes sense because it's an american pedal and I play music written by Europeans. But the pedal on the left and the pedal on the right define my life.

The pedal to the left, the soft pedal, pretty much acts like a mute. I love it's function and I love how it works. It shifts the hammers to the right so that they are not hitting the strings dead on and it makes the sound softer. Sometimes I feel like God is my soft pedal. He just shifts everything that I am going through over so that I am not feeling the direct blows of everything. I continue to press on.

But ahhh, the pedal on the right. The sustaining pedal. This pedal raises all the dampers off the strings so that they can continue to vibrate and sound after a note on the keyboard has been released.It allows certain notes to be connected together.

Right now I feel like God has hit the sustaining pedal on my life. Even though I feel like there is too much going on and I can't take it. He is allowing it to continue because it makes for an every sweeter harmony. He is holding it all together. He is essentially building the perfectly layered chord in my life.

God, work, ministry, education, love, social life, money, family.

At times I wish this were more like a scale with each note being played at a different time but this is more like a chord that can only be played using the sustaining pedal because these notes are all over the 88 keys of my life.

Intro-spection

So on the eve of my quarter century mark I figure it would be a great idea to take a look at my life and really reflect about the choices that I have made...

This time last year I was entering my 3rd week of teaching altogether as a new career I was excited and frightened all at the same time. This year the excitement has worn off and I focus more on just tryna make it through the day rather than how can I make a difference! That is not exactly the mindset an effective teacher should have however americas youth makes it hard to like them. Ugh!

This time last year I was single and healing from some emotional scars. Some things happened and I needed to work through them. So this time last year God allowed me to open up to some awesome women! Realize that I am a jewel in His crown and move forward. This year... I am still single but no doubt healed from the past hurts that I have been through. I have taken on this new shyness trait only around guys though I mean cuz if you have EVER spoken to me I would say I am the exact opposite of the word shy! I can't put my finger on it but this year I just keep my feelings to myself... One patch of beauty rising out of the ashes of my past relationships.

This time last year I was surrounded by great friends and family and thankful for all of the people I have in my life... This year I am surrounded by great friends and family and thankful for all of the people that I have in my life especially the new additions that I managed to make room for.

So I guess I have grown since last year and I have more growing to do but I am happy where I am...

My beauty is still being made perfect