So I have been out living the life of a single lady (insert beyonce left hand wave) and I would love to tell you that I have been having nothing but fun... except its only half true!!
Part 2 of the sermon series Solo at my church urged me to read Hebrews 13:5 whenever I felt lonely.
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”
Duh!!! I can quote that in my sleep but I never thought that I would need a reminder in my life. Especially since I am always out spending time with people. I spent a week in MD and in 3 days I went to 7social gatherings! yes 7 and that doesn't count the pit stops I made for some wonderful red velvet brownies!!! And I have never felt so lonely in my life that weekend.
Let's address why I go out so often... God never said I was gonna marry the mailmen and even if He did I would have to at least go downstairs to meet him! That and I truly enjoy the company of other people. But how can I be surrounded by people and feel lonely? This is a new phenomena to me because I am so used to being the life of the party. I just felt as though nobody desired to be around me. Nobody desired to be with me. Nobody desires Deri (I feel like some Inception level stuff was happening in my brain!!)
My best guy friend said "Desire is not always overt" those words alone have helped me to combat the Inception level untruths that were trying to take root in my brain.
The truth is I know that God is there and I know that He never leaves me, He never fails me, and He will never forsake me. I know that people desire to be around me. And I know that somebody desires me (somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight...) (If you did not instantly start singing the rest of that song from An American Tale then you are a crazy person)
I know all of that to be true but I need to do a better job of believing it...