Speak up!!! I can't hear you!

So last night I participated in a step competition. The team worked really hard. Our steps were really intricate. We were beyond precise. The show had a theme, we were ready for war...

The problem was that we had never stepped at such a huge scale event before and so we treated it like we would treat a normal step show. Nobody heard anything that we had to say. We were told that we looked amazing and that everyone liked our steps but they just wished that they could have heard what we had to say.

At the show essentially were just going through the motions. We did our best to make sure that we ministered but that is not how it came off to the campus. Of course when thinking about this I can't help but think about how I live my life as a Christian.

I do my best to live a life that lets other know that I am a Christian. But sometimes I wonder if people who see what I am doing know that it is because I am a Christian. You know some people may see everything that I do as just being a good person. It would suck if nobody knows that I am a Christian after all of this.

A Lesson from Walking

A few years ago I read Ernst Gaines book "A lesson before dying" Read it!!

But today I learned a very important lesson just from taking a walk to my car.

*Back Story* I was at UMBC for an ANQ event with the lovely SM. We went to support the crazy JM. But my phone was dying. It was holding on for dear life. So I decided to go back to my car and get my charger. It took about 7 minutes and in those 7 minutes my life changed forever...

So I am severely knock-kneed. It is a debilitating disease that makes my knees look like they are always trying to sit on each other's laps, if knees had laps. This condition makes it completely impossible to walk like "normal" people. No matter what I do there is something at the very core of who I am that is preventing me from being "normal."

This sounds a lot like my life as a Christian. I use to try so hard to fit in and look normal but there is something that shapes who I am that prevents me from looking like everyone else. It changes everything about me. My walk is different. The way I respond to situations is different. I can't participate in the same activities because it makes me uncomfortable.

So that was my lesson... God is for the knock-kneed people! He loves us more because we have no other choice but to embrace the fact that we are different from everyone else!!!!

(OK maybe that was a stretch but whatever)

Let's Peruse the essentials of cool...

Now if you immediately continued the Lupe Fiasco lyrics then know that I love you.

If you didn't then why are we friends?!? Kidding! I love you too but there is work that needs to be done.

So this is tough for me because I want so much for this to make sense but for the life of me I cannot. But I have been thinking about what it means to be cool, what it takes for my interest to be peaked in someone else and I came up with this:

I want you

well not want but more like a need

that I created unlike me need to breathe

more like my need to be free

from this invisible cave so the light I can see

Glimmers of hope peak through the stalactites of shame

The Stalagmites of pain

This prison of disdain

You overshadow what's keeping me here

And that's...

Essential

I thought when I started this I would just go on to say what Lupe says gold watch, gold chain, etc... but honestly anybody who is willing to search for me in this place I call my life is what I need...