The Situation Room

Or my living room as some might actually call it!!!

The situation going on is so deep that I'm not even invited! Here I am thinking I'm grown because I pay bills, I have my own place, I drive my own car (that my dad purchased minor detail I promise) and still I was given the nice look of "child if you don't get out of this room at this very moment then someone will remove you.

So I left which is definitely for the better. Never have I been so stressed and distraught about a situation that directly involved me before.

There really isnt much that i can say. Just know its going down. Basement!

Ms. Solo Dolo pt 1

So my church started a series for single people called "Solo" I was even featured in the video!!

what's funny is that last year a few of my friends decided that my church should do like "single woman of the month" kinda like what Essence Magazine does but like at church!! I mean who doesn't go to church looking for their boo??? Personally whenever a really cute dude walks by I mentally start singing "there goes my baby" (ok I don't sing, nor do I really care but I find myself doing the occasional left-hand check, and for some reason I cant help that)

I digress...

So "Solo" The message was great and the takeaway simply changed my life:

Do what you can to show God how much you appreciate being in the state that you are in.

Clearly I am single and at 21 it was totally easy to appreciate that. At 23 it was getting hard and I started to doubt God (as if He ever really gave me a reason to do so) At the age that I am now I can say that I was getting down-right annoyed. It got so bad I believe I told someone "if God knows that me being single is causing me to doubt Him then why won't he just change that situation?" What kind of spiritual milk was I sippin on?!? I mean it was getting awful.

The takeaway from the message though helped me put a lot of things in perspective. I see now that my way of thinking was completely ummm silly! And God doesn't love me any less for being that silly for that long!

So this week I stayed away from "bait" or attractive men. It was challenging but I learned a lot about myself. It also helped me see who and what I appreciate and why! The trick was showing God the same type of appreciation that I show others (who didn't die on the cross for my sins Romans 5:8 style) If it seemed like I wasn't speaking to you its not because I didn't love you but because I value my relationship with God a whole lot more!!!


~Ms. Solo Dolo~

I got a feeling

I generally don't discuss my feelings with anybody! I work in observable facts. I guess thats the scientist in me always coming to the light. So I'm working on feeling more... expect a poem about that tomorrow

We wish you a Merry....

So I must admit that I am not really feeling the holiday cheer this year... again!!

I'll skip the rant about Christmas being a commercialized holiday and blah blah blah!

I'll even smooth over the "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" This is truth that I do believe and wants the whole entire world to know however, I'm just not in the mood.

I feel this way every year. I can't quite wrap my fingers around it (kinda like luther's curl thats not quite right! )

I'm gonna guess this is because I have been buying gifts for the same people! Doing the same thing every year. I wish I had someone new to buy a gift for. And I kind of want someone to get something for me. Like someone who takes the time out to think about what it is that will make me happy!!

My family does that.

My Loops do that.

but I want to say that my boo did that for me!!

Well I'm going to stop sulking and live it up! Party like its 2009! And by party I mean play with my nephew and continue to tell him that Santa isn't real (he's 2months old!) Maybe I'll watch A Christmas story once or twice circa 2am. And watch Elf @ 5am.

After I eat my spaghetti with Syrup maybe I will feel like singing Feliz Navidad to all of those around me!!!

Safe

So I wrote a new poem (I don't write often mainly because I never really feel inspired to do so) because lately I felt like I had something that needed to be said and I just had to get this off my chest. Feel free to tell me what you think and/or discuss what it is that I'm talking about

Safe

Cynic the pitcher

Is about to strike me out

and it's without a doubt,that I can see this game coming to an end

At the bottom of the 9th and my team has 2 outs

2 Popfly hopefuls that could go, all the way

And unfortunately nobody knows

When the wind is gonna change

and make sure that things, are not the same

But still I remain, up next in the game

I must admit, it's n

ot my first attempt at this,
but I suck even in practice,

Guess the stakes Are top high

Or maybe I'm too shy

To swing at every pitch

Ball he calls, then strike, then foul
How quickly I'm down in the count now,

Gotta pay attention but i don't see my pitch

It's high and outside

Oh that's ball number 2

Cynic thinks he's slick, but look son, I got you
right past my nose he throws ball 3,

Can't believe the counts now in favor of Me!

So with this last pitch, I

'll take my chanceand swing

I just want a base hit,

As I hit top speed and run for my life

I don't think twice if this is even right

I'm just running like a bat outta hell

and it feels sorta like love put a spell on that last ball

cuz I hit the base quick and I didn't even fall,

But I see this base is not for me

And there's no second guessing,

Here's my chance to steal second

Steal like take what's not mine

or not at this time but it's too close to wait,
so when nobody's lookin

Headed towards this place I know so well,
this base I couldn't tell was closer than it seemed
I'm no Ricky Henderson and I don't do this often,

And I don't do this often but now it's worth the risk

With each step I'm closer to the place I need to be

Now I'm running at the speed of sound

Can't even feel my feet hit the ground

And I know that I'm not only racing against time

I'm racing to get mine and...

I'm pickled between my past and my future

But I cAn't go back I'm likely to get injured

If I keep running foward I might get caught

Might be picked off

Might be...

But with each might I just take flight

I hit the ground so hard

And the base with one hand

I can't hear past the crowd

My mind is in space

Did the umpire yell out

Or am I really, safe?

Falling In love with Reality

Apparently its only something that I can achieve in my dreams.

Sweet Dreams

or

Beautiful Nightmare

Either way I dont wanna wake up...

I dont like this

So my sister is in the hospital and I honestly do NOT like this. There are a lot of emotions that I am trying to deal with that I dont even know how to name them. And its really hard to practice faith in these situations.

Rejoice in the Lord- WHY? I have questions a lot of them like WHY?

Be anxious for NOTHING - but these machines keep beeping and she can't see out of her right side of either eyes. Her memory is failing and I'm watching that... anxious slightly

It's hard to Praise in Advance when you are looking at the current situation.

I don't like this!

Please pray for me and my family its tough and honestly I don't like this.