Speak up!!! I can't hear you!

So last night I participated in a step competition. The team worked really hard. Our steps were really intricate. We were beyond precise. The show had a theme, we were ready for war...

The problem was that we had never stepped at such a huge scale event before and so we treated it like we would treat a normal step show. Nobody heard anything that we had to say. We were told that we looked amazing and that everyone liked our steps but they just wished that they could have heard what we had to say.

At the show essentially were just going through the motions. We did our best to make sure that we ministered but that is not how it came off to the campus. Of course when thinking about this I can't help but think about how I live my life as a Christian.

I do my best to live a life that lets other know that I am a Christian. But sometimes I wonder if people who see what I am doing know that it is because I am a Christian. You know some people may see everything that I do as just being a good person. It would suck if nobody knows that I am a Christian after all of this.

A Lesson from Walking

A few years ago I read Ernst Gaines book "A lesson before dying" Read it!!

But today I learned a very important lesson just from taking a walk to my car.

*Back Story* I was at UMBC for an ANQ event with the lovely SM. We went to support the crazy JM. But my phone was dying. It was holding on for dear life. So I decided to go back to my car and get my charger. It took about 7 minutes and in those 7 minutes my life changed forever...

So I am severely knock-kneed. It is a debilitating disease that makes my knees look like they are always trying to sit on each other's laps, if knees had laps. This condition makes it completely impossible to walk like "normal" people. No matter what I do there is something at the very core of who I am that is preventing me from being "normal."

This sounds a lot like my life as a Christian. I use to try so hard to fit in and look normal but there is something that shapes who I am that prevents me from looking like everyone else. It changes everything about me. My walk is different. The way I respond to situations is different. I can't participate in the same activities because it makes me uncomfortable.

So that was my lesson... God is for the knock-kneed people! He loves us more because we have no other choice but to embrace the fact that we are different from everyone else!!!!

(OK maybe that was a stretch but whatever)

Let's Peruse the essentials of cool...

Now if you immediately continued the Lupe Fiasco lyrics then know that I love you.

If you didn't then why are we friends?!? Kidding! I love you too but there is work that needs to be done.

So this is tough for me because I want so much for this to make sense but for the life of me I cannot. But I have been thinking about what it means to be cool, what it takes for my interest to be peaked in someone else and I came up with this:

I want you

well not want but more like a need

that I created unlike me need to breathe

more like my need to be free

from this invisible cave so the light I can see

Glimmers of hope peak through the stalactites of shame

The Stalagmites of pain

This prison of disdain

You overshadow what's keeping me here

And that's...

Essential

I thought when I started this I would just go on to say what Lupe says gold watch, gold chain, etc... but honestly anybody who is willing to search for me in this place I call my life is what I need...

The Story of the prodigal Son pt. 2

So we met on my birthday randomly in a caf somewhere on my way from biochem to sociology or something like that! (I used to be a geek I lie to you not). I walked up to him like

"Hey are you T from facebook?"

"Yea are you Shaderi?"

"Yeah..."

2 hours later we get up and leave and have been friends ever since.

Now I know EVERYBODY thought we were dating because where you saw T you saw me. But he was my road dog. We talked about how much we loved Praise and Worship, how much we loved BBQ sauce. He even hipped me Open Pit BBQ sauce!! HE COOKED!!!!!!!! Like he would call me and say:

Yo I'm cooking I'm coming to pick you up.

Come to think about it he is just like me. I LOVE IT!!!!

And then graduation happened and I moved back home... and moved to MD.

I spoke to T once when I moved to MD. Coming home from Dive at Zion Church (so you already know that was a while ago). Then I was pressed over this dude so I did a one week no guys fast and lo T called in the middle of my fast. I was so tight because I knew he would change his number again before I had a chance to call him back. And that is what happened.

I haven't spoken to T in a little over 2 years. But I think about him every time a Fred Hammond cd comes out, Mary Mary comes on the radio, Tye Tribbett does Tye Tribbett things, pastors give awful offering sermons... That is my boy. And he will be in DC this weekend!!!!

Icing on my red velvet cake!!

The Story of the prodigal Son pt.1

I will be honest and say that I have recently learned a lot from God and should definitely share it with the world.

THIS IS NOT THAT TIME!!!!!

So back when I had a perm, gas was 1.78 a gallon, and facebook was only for college students, I met this guy on facebook.

What had happened was:

He was looking at profiles of Christians on fb (remember when you could click things people were interested in and see other people who listed the same interest?!?) So he sent me a message that said "Hey I was looking at Christians at our school and was getting depressed but then I came across your profile and you are actually not ashamed to be a Christian"

Since I didn't have a computer during these times I opened this message in my friend's dorm room so everyone in the room was like "yo deri that dude is cute and that is a pretty bold message. What are you gonna do about it? I think you should write back."

So I did. I said "Interesting pic. And yes I'm a real Christian" we talked for a while. Picture of Shaderi and Picture of dude who used his driver's license as his profile pic. (That has to be like giving the finger to fb) Then we met in real life. On my birthday

stay tuned for part 2

My party clothes are so binding!!!

That is probably one of the most profound statements from the movie that defines my generation and gives meaning to my life... CLUELESS!!!

I mean I can quote the entire movie from beginning to end. However, I must admit that I have never given much thought to this scene at all. But tonight for some reason this scene means a lot to me.

Cher is sitting on her couch brushing her hair in a purple cardigan and some jeans, while watching Ren & Stimpy talking about how much she enjoys staying in the house and going out. Her reason for staying in is simple; She can wear whatever she wants and have her hair look however she wants it to.

Tonight I feel the exact same way!!! With no actual PRESSING OBLIGATIONS, left work, went to the movies (with quite possibly the greatest individual on the face of this earth)***, came home and ate, and plan on playing video games until my heart is content!!!

Don't get me wrong I love going out- I still have time to get ready and go to 3 functions that I turned down if I really wanted to go.

But tonight I will rock some sweat pants and let my hair down.

I deserve this! And you do too!!!

***Please don't try and speculate who it is because I know a lot of great people***

Minute to Win it!!!

For Valentine's Day I went Speed Dating!!! Here is how it all went down (play by play style):

4:45 -I'm completely dressed and my friend shows up in sweats after I said we needed to by on the metro by 5:15. I pretty much knew that was not going to happen

5:20 - We leave the house and suddenly are reminded that the beltway on Friday at 5pm is a parking lot. Our chances of ever being remotely on time are shot. And I am one of the few people who doesn't like to be late.

6:45 -We meet one more friend at the metro. The event starts at 7 and this friend is ALSO not dressed and her hair is not done. At this point I figure we are NEVER going to make it. And I need new friends who actually respect the clock.

7:15 - We show up to the event pretty sure that they are going to turn us away because we are so late. However, the event didn't even start! I should have known the moment that I stepped onto an HBCU things were going to be different. I had to throw away my experience at 2 white schools and "go with the flow"

8:00 - Let the dating begin!!!!!! I sit down in front of someone who's last name clearly started with a vowel and ended with a vowel, who kept trying to give me high-5s, I thought to myself "I could get up and run now and NOBODY would care. After that minute and 30secs of sheer awkwardness I made my rounds on 13 other dates.

3 dental students - one of which smelled like he did veterinary dentistry. I tried to figure out how you could go some place without showering. I mean this bamma still had scrubs on. JUST WRONG!!!!

3 more FOTB dudes who's last names begin and end with vowels. I couldn't even understand them. However one dude was hilarious. I sat down and said "Hola" he said "oh where are you from?" "NY" "No originally" "NY" "But you said your name was Ola" "No I said Hello" Ding time is up!!

Last dude of the evening takes the cake!!! I sit down and this bamma says "Are you Caribbean?" "no, why?" "Because you look Caribbean" "Why would you say that" (you should know now that though I have nothing against people from any island in the Caribbean I HATE when people assume I am from there!! Proud to be an American Negro!) "Because you have a SWEET GAP" "I'm sorry a what?!?!?"

YES A SWEET GAP!!!

Needless to say I walked away laughing!!!! I'm glad I went. I would do it again!